Interlude...

//currently listening to :- Adam Sandler - Grow Old with You

*looks up to the sky (which is the underside of my bed)* Such a beautiful song...

So yeah... its 12.30pm on a Saturday morning and I've been awake for an hour or so... By right i should be sleeping for another 5 - 6 hours like a little baby on these weekends... why? I don't know... just dont feel like sleeping... his words kept on ringing in my ears... *squeezes eyes*

Yesterday he kinda asked about how i would feel if he was permanent there... 700miles away... only able to see him 6months once...woooooowwww.... to close to home... back off... i even see my acquaintances more often than that... yup... but his argument was "they pay me good money"

stares...

I'm sure 20 years from now we'll be living in a not so grand hut and i would say, if i could turn back time i would want him to agree to the post so we could have a better life.

A better life... dear bulma.... would a better life mean slaving night and day for money and in remunition, you get wads and wads of cash but missing your other half dearly for a loooong loooooong time...? or slaving night and day and in remunition get less cash but still at the end of the day you get to look forward to being in each other's arms, recap the events of the day together, cradle ourselves to sleep...

I'm not sure if i'm being emotional, but for now I need him so much that I hope that he declines the offer and comes back.

We'll get by together however it takes...

*sigh* I'm also still waiting for my boss' respond... I hope they love me enough to raise me and keep me... at least then it'll be a little better... I'm almost halting all my shopping activities... it hurts a lot... i love dresses... but for now i just can't afford it... *sigh* i guess i wont be able to afford them anymore ever... since when i can afford them i'd be old and wrinkly and not eligible enough for those attire... T-T I guess i can do a reembarkment of my spendings... have myself buy a dress every now and then buy nothing else... maybe... i can work out something.. i know i can... ^_^

someone said to me... "great! you got urself a boyfriend! now he can pay for your things"

Wooooooooooww.......

I'm sure almost everyone thinks like that... but I'm not the type of person to ask for something like that from a guy that i like... I mean if I want something I'll work something out myself to get it without troubling him... I am fortunately an independant person. ^_^ lucky me... of coz, unless he offers... I take whatever comes my way then. just coz its from him... and knowing he doesnt offer much makes it balanced... he knows he doesnt need to 'buy' my love for him.

I sometimes wonder... why is it that some people have it bad? Some people barely make an effort and they get rich... some people work their asses off on triple shifts and still barely make it through... is it true that all rich people are unhappy? i don't think so... they seem fine... is it true that poor people are happy? they seems to try and look it...

*dazed*

I guess it is because i'm still barely an adult i can't grasp this concept. I have never truly felt hardship... I wish i never would, but we all won't know what HE got installed for us all in the future right? For me, the biggest hardship is now... where my heart aches for something and you know it's far away...

Im currently moving on from dreading how long is he gone for to, he's coming back soon, so anticipate! Honestly it makes it all better.... ^_______^