//currently listening to :- Adam Sandler - Grow Old with You
*looks up to the sky (which is the underside of my bed)* Such a beautiful song...
So yeah... its 12.30pm on a Saturday morning and I've been awake for an hour or so... By right i should be sleeping for another 5 - 6 hours like a little baby on these weekends... why? I don't know... just dont feel like sleeping... his words kept on ringing in my ears... *squeezes eyes*
Yesterday he kinda asked about how i would feel if he was permanent there... 700miles away... only able to see him 6months once...woooooowwww.... to close to home... back off... i even see my acquaintances more often than that... yup... but his argument was "they pay me good money"
stares...
I'm sure 20 years from now we'll be living in a not so grand hut and i would say, if i could turn back time i would want him to agree to the post so we could have a better life.
A better life... dear bulma.... would a better life mean slaving night and day for money and in remunition, you get wads and wads of cash but missing your other half dearly for a loooong loooooong time...? or slaving night and day and in remunition get less cash but still at the end of the day you get to look forward to being in each other's arms, recap the events of the day together, cradle ourselves to sleep...
I'm not sure if i'm being emotional, but for now I need him so much that I hope that he declines the offer and comes back.
We'll get by together however it takes...
*sigh* I'm also still waiting for my boss' respond... I hope they love me enough to raise me and keep me... at least then it'll be a little better... I'm almost halting all my shopping activities... it hurts a lot... i love dresses... but for now i just can't afford it... *sigh* i guess i wont be able to afford them anymore ever... since when i can afford them i'd be old and wrinkly and not eligible enough for those attire... T-T I guess i can do a reembarkment of my spendings... have myself buy a dress every now and then buy nothing else... maybe... i can work out something.. i know i can... ^_^
someone said to me... "great! you got urself a boyfriend! now he can pay for your things"
Wooooooooooww.......
I'm sure almost everyone thinks like that... but I'm not the type of person to ask for something like that from a guy that i like... I mean if I want something I'll work something out myself to get it without troubling him... I am fortunately an independant person. ^_^ lucky me... of coz, unless he offers... I take whatever comes my way then. just coz its from him... and knowing he doesnt offer much makes it balanced... he knows he doesnt need to 'buy' my love for him.
I sometimes wonder... why is it that some people have it bad? Some people barely make an effort and they get rich... some people work their asses off on triple shifts and still barely make it through... is it true that all rich people are unhappy? i don't think so... they seem fine... is it true that poor people are happy? they seems to try and look it...
*dazed*
I guess it is because i'm still barely an adult i can't grasp this concept. I have never truly felt hardship... I wish i never would, but we all won't know what HE got installed for us all in the future right? For me, the biggest hardship is now... where my heart aches for something and you know it's far away...
Im currently moving on from dreading how long is he gone for to, he's coming back soon, so anticipate! Honestly it makes it all better.... ^_______^
Friday, November 17, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
My New Life, And Yours.
// Currently Listening to : Archangel Chants - Erik Berglund //
As the title suggests, It's been a while since I've written anything here. Almost a year. Hurray, me! Such a diligent nerd I am. I wouldn't say that there was a lot that happened throughout the year, but it certainly was a year that something big happened in my life.
For all you curious people out there - this is what i currently look like. All Zombified, affected by the rat-race virus, counting my days...
lolx XD !!!
Honestly, it aint that bad. That was just a picture of me @ Zouk - Dungeon of Tortures Halloween Party. Hahaha...
So what was new? Remember all the crap I said about love? If you don't you can just dig my archive and check up that one survey I did. Yeah, I don't do much surveys but when I see one that hits my 4th verterbrae spine block, I'll do it.
Yup, like i remember - My definition for love is:-
- A Capitalist Propaganda to brainwash suckers like ALL OF YOU! Into buying UBER EXPENSIVE MATERIALS, be it tangible or not; into providing them a steady stream of income.
- eg : The Japan Confectionaire industry concentrates on days like Valentines Day (Feb 14th) and White Day (March 14th) where its total confectionary sales are 25% alone on those days in that week, from their annual sale. Unbelievable? like they diet the whole year just to down chocolates on those days. sweet!
Yeah, so...
Seasons change.
I do too...
*looks at all of you* shut up! I know what you're all going to say!
Yes, yes... as all of you have known I have found myself a person to devout my love and trust, and hopefully he will be my first and the last. For 23 years i have searched for this meaning, asked everyone - "how do you know its love?" "is it really nice" "how do i know if i am in love?"
But no one came with an answer rethoric enough to be accepted by me.
One was close tho - "It's not something someone can tell you, but I guarantee you that when the time comes, your heart will tell you that you're in love" Who gave me that answer? I forgot. But I don't have much close friends anyway so I'm sure its one of you.
Who? Where? HOW? WTF!!!
Those were the questions that popped out from almost everyone's mouth when I said "I'm currently going out with someone," hahaha.. interesting.. i must say... i mean, if im not me, i wouldn't believe it myself. The life i was leading was just way too mundane to include such a beautiful thing like this.
Who?
\\(^_^)// - me wuv you!
I honestly think he's Uber cute. Especially in real life. His face tends to loose something behind a viewfinder, somehow. But more the better for me, so I get to anticipate more of him in real life! And his voice... >_< it's the most annoyingly sweet low alto pitch that you just crave for more and more... And what's more precious? Is that he DOENS'T make it his hobby to talk. So... IF you get to hear him talk, consider yourself lucky to be blessed by the gods of WAR. bwahahhah!
Actually this post is to announce the closing of this blog for being public. I'm not deleting it. Its just that I need this space for something that me and him could exchange. personally... since he's so far away now. So you all don't have to come and visit this site anymore actually... until further notice.... heh. Unless you wanna be a busy-body and check out what nonsense i have in here that wouldnt concern the rest of you. Except YOU that is, sweetcakes. ^_^
so, yada yada yada... Bulma talked bullocks and finally had it stuffed in her mouth. She shall remain quiet now... And i wish you all the best of luck in your future undertakings. Njya!
"Daisuki!!"
As the title suggests, It's been a while since I've written anything here. Almost a year. Hurray, me! Such a diligent nerd I am. I wouldn't say that there was a lot that happened throughout the year, but it certainly was a year that something big happened in my life.
For all you curious people out there - this is what i currently look like. All Zombified, affected by the rat-race virus, counting my days...
lolx XD !!!
Honestly, it aint that bad. That was just a picture of me @ Zouk - Dungeon of Tortures Halloween Party. Hahaha...
So what was new? Remember all the crap I said about love? If you don't you can just dig my archive and check up that one survey I did. Yeah, I don't do much surveys but when I see one that hits my 4th verterbrae spine block, I'll do it.
Yup, like i remember - My definition for love is:-
- A Capitalist Propaganda to brainwash suckers like ALL OF YOU! Into buying UBER EXPENSIVE MATERIALS, be it tangible or not; into providing them a steady stream of income.
- eg : The Japan Confectionaire industry concentrates on days like Valentines Day (Feb 14th) and White Day (March 14th) where its total confectionary sales are 25% alone on those days in that week, from their annual sale. Unbelievable? like they diet the whole year just to down chocolates on those days. sweet!
Yeah, so...
Seasons change.
I do too...
*looks at all of you* shut up! I know what you're all going to say!
Yes, yes... as all of you have known I have found myself a person to devout my love and trust, and hopefully he will be my first and the last. For 23 years i have searched for this meaning, asked everyone - "how do you know its love?" "is it really nice" "how do i know if i am in love?"
But no one came with an answer rethoric enough to be accepted by me.
One was close tho - "It's not something someone can tell you, but I guarantee you that when the time comes, your heart will tell you that you're in love" Who gave me that answer? I forgot. But I don't have much close friends anyway so I'm sure its one of you.
Who? Where? HOW? WTF!!!
Those were the questions that popped out from almost everyone's mouth when I said "I'm currently going out with someone," hahaha.. interesting.. i must say... i mean, if im not me, i wouldn't believe it myself. The life i was leading was just way too mundane to include such a beautiful thing like this.
Who?
\\(^_^)// - me wuv you!
I honestly think he's Uber cute. Especially in real life. His face tends to loose something behind a viewfinder, somehow. But more the better for me, so I get to anticipate more of him in real life! And his voice... >_< it's the most annoyingly sweet low alto pitch that you just crave for more and more... And what's more precious? Is that he DOENS'T make it his hobby to talk. So... IF you get to hear him talk, consider yourself lucky to be blessed by the gods of WAR. bwahahhah!
Actually this post is to announce the closing of this blog for being public. I'm not deleting it. Its just that I need this space for something that me and him could exchange. personally... since he's so far away now. So you all don't have to come and visit this site anymore actually... until further notice.... heh. Unless you wanna be a busy-body and check out what nonsense i have in here that wouldnt concern the rest of you. Except YOU that is, sweetcakes. ^_^
so, yada yada yada... Bulma talked bullocks and finally had it stuffed in her mouth. She shall remain quiet now... And i wish you all the best of luck in your future undertakings. Njya!
"Daisuki!!"
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